And The Beat Goes On…

24Mar11

My apologies to Dennis Miller, but I’m gong to get into a bit of a rant right now.

I’m sick to death of everyone and everything I see on TV.

I have nothing against Oprah but she is relentless. Every time I turn around, it’s Oprah. Howard Stern claimed the title of “King Of All Media” I’m sorry Howard, you’re a rank amateur compared with Oprah.

She’s got her TV show, her magazine, her cable channel, she’s got a Hollywood Oscar special….and Gayle, she’s got Gayle King who’s job, it seems, is to talk about, you guessed it, Oprah.

Now, I really have nothing against Oprah. She’s taken what was just another sensationalist, sleazy talk show and transformed the whole genre. She actually strives to do good for people with many of her shows. She’s even got people reading and talking about books, but really, enough, take a breath.

Good Morning America did a segment, with Gayle King, of course, about an article on journaling in a recent issue of O. And, as if it was manna from heaven, Oprah contributed some journal entries from the early 1970’s. Gayle and GMA treated these words like the gospel according to Oprah. I mean how could they not……think about it…she wrote things down!  Move over Mother Theresa, Oprah’s got a pen!

And speaking of GMA, has anyone else noticed that it’s just a 2 hour commercial for Disney. I mean a week on the new Disney cruise ship, and month promoting the Oscars (which aired on, you guessed it, Disney’s TV network – ABC). There was virtually no talk about the Golden Globes or the Screen Actors Guild awards but, wait for it, they aired on other networks.

GMA spent what seems like a month talking about Tiger Moms – not really my area of expertise but doesn’t this whole concept seem like Mom’s just an abusive bitch to her kids? I guess if they turn out to be highly accomplished individuals, the kids will be able to afford the therapy they’ll so richly deserve.

And The Wedding….it’s our prince getting married right? It must be be, because they talk about it every freakin’ day. The dress, the honeymoon, the cake, the maids of honor…..and the sister.

Kate Middleton’s sister – Pippi Longstockings or Pippa or Poopie or whatever her name is. The first time I ever heard she existed, GMA had a “royals expert’ on the show gossiping about what a “Chelsea party girl” she is. I don’t know what that means but it sure sounds like the were calling her an upper-crust slut. Really? Is that what you meant? Is that any way to introduce this woman to the world?

I’m no TV producer but there has to be something more important going on in the world than dresses, cakes and Chelsea party girls. Uhhhhhhh, an earthquake, tsunami, nuclear meltdown and volcano erupting in Japan, another earthquake in New Zealand, a devastating hurricane in Australia, revolution in Egypt, Libya and Bahrain……all things that ought to be getting more of our attention.

And Charlie Sheen – he’s nuts, plain and simple. He tweets like a demon or, should I say a warlock? How about a story on the impact his own personal nuclear meltdown has had on the hundreds of people he’s put out of work? I’m sick to death of him and his tiger blood…has anyone checked – did he get that from his tiger mom?

I think Lindsey Lohan ought to be locked up because she’s too stupid to stay out of trouble for more then three and half minutes. Every time I turn on the TV – there she is – right after the stories about Oprah and Charlie and The Wedding. I’m glad she’s dropped out of the top 3 daily crap news stories but, Lindsey give yourself and all of us a break. If I had a herd of camera snapping jackals hunting me, I’d hide. Go someplace where they’ve never heard of you – put on your dark glasses and disappear until you get your shit together.

There. I feel better now.

But, I’m bracing myself for the next onslaught – Brittany Spears is back. Charlie’s going on tour and Oprah’s last show is coming,…..the beat goes on and on and on and on.

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Tags: Charlie Sheen, Dennis Miller, Disney, Gayle King, Good Morning America, Kate Middleton, lindsey lohan, Oprah, TV