What’s Next? Tommy John Surgery?
I have a torn rotator cuff.
My doctor thinks it’s a partial tear so he gave me a cortisone shot the other day and sent me off to physical therapy to see if it responds. If it does, it means its just a partial tear and that’s great. If not, it means it’s a full tear and I will need to have surgery.
It’s kinda funny how I managed to do this to myself.
It was a very cold January day. I was skiing Tuckerman’s and the conditions were less than ideal. I started my first run and all was going well. It was exhilarating to finally be facing down the ultimate ski-challenge here in New England. My iPod was blasting classic J. Geils Band as I raced down the slope. Slope is a nice term for a 60 degree wall. Suddenly, I was in trouble, one of my skis kicked up after hitting a chunk of ice and instantly I was struggling to stay upright. I lost, tumbling down the ravine, losing skis, hat, goggles and one glove before finally sliding/rolling to a stop. When I leaned on my elbow to stand, it hurt like hell. Torn rotator cuff.
Really, I was playing a pick-up game in January with a bunch of Boston College players before practice. Al Skinner cut his coaching teeth at URI and as a personal favor, he gives me pretty much unrestrained access to his practice gym. Being a URI alum has it’s privileges. We were playing four on four – I was playing forward/center and Tyrese Rice threw up a perfect alley-oop. I leaped, grabbing the ball out of mid-air with both hands and was smashing it down thru the hoop, when I was undercut by one of the BC scrubs. Suddenly, I was horizontal to the floor with my head rotating down and my feet rotating towards the gym ceiling. I got one hand on the rim to slow my fall – Ouch! Torn rotator cuff. Bye-the-way, I made the shot.
Okay, for real this time. I was on the mound at the Red Sox practice facility in Ft. Myers last January helping David Ortiz rehab his wrist….
Not buyin’ it?
Okay, I don’t ski. I’ve never even tried. Frankly, in January I’m too busy hustling in and out of the cold – never mind going outside for “recreation.”
And, I don’t know Al Skinner or Tyrese Rice. In fact, if they were going to make a basketball movie about me it might be called “White Men Can’t Jump, Run, or Shoot.” Truth be told, watching March Madness on TV tuckers me out.
Finally, the closest I’ve ever gotten to Big Papi was section 11 in the grandstands. If I rear back and throw a baseball as hard as I can, it’s not quite as fast as Tim Wakefield’s knuckleball and, really, I have only about a 1 in 5 chance of throwing a strike.
How did I tear my rotator cuff?
I pulled up the covers.
Now, stop laughing this one really, really is true. It was the start of a very bad night last January.
It was cold so after I went to bed and watched a little of The Tonight Show, I rolled over and pulled the covers with me. Unfortunately, the covers did not move, but my shoulder did – it was wrenched backwards as the rest of me rolled over. Ouch! It hurt but I figured it’ll be fine by morning – it wasn’t.
When morning arrived, I was startled out of a bad dream by the alarm. One moment I’m fighting someone who’s invisible (go interpret that, will ya), and the next I’m springing out of bed to hit the alarm. While springing, I knocked over my water on the nightstand, spilling about 12 ounces of water all over the phone and down into the laundry basket of nice, clean, folded and most important, dry clothes.
I think it was my swearing that woke Laura.
While I was soaking up what water I could and evaluating whether the phone was ruined (it was), Laura padded down the hall to the bathroom.
Now, you have to understand we have the neediest cat on earth. She’s on top of us night and day – she’s not content to sleep on the foot of the bed, we frequently wake up to find her sleeping on top of us. She seems to like that little curve of the waist when you lay on your side.
I do try to be a considerate husband, so when I noticed the stupid cat on Laura’s side of the bed, I figured I’d lock her in the bathroom so she wouldn’t bother Laura when she went back to bed.
I grab the cat and head out into the dark hallway just in time to clunk heads with Laura as she was coming back to the bedroom.
Had a bad dream, ruined a phone, had to re-dry and fold a whole basket of laundry, knocked heads with my wife and, oh yes, tore my rotator cuff.
Filed under: Humor | 4 Comments
Tags: Al Skinner, bad dream, Boston College, David Ortiz, iPod, J. Geils Band, March Madness, Red Sox, rotator cuff, The Tonight Show, Tommy John Surgury, Tuckerman’s, Tyrese Rice, URI